Using The New Year to Find Fresh Perspective in your Relationship

A new year is here! That means new goals, fresh perspectives, and a feeling of hope. Whether you are married or dating, a fresh perspective in your relationship is probably in order.

This is part 2 in our goal setting series. Be sure to check out part one, and part three.

Assessing your connection and commitment to grow your relationship is often an uncomfortable but important task.

Taking time to talk and intentionally make a renewed commitment to each other can be a way to enhance your life together.

The 7 Dimensions of Relationship

By Dr. Gilbert

Fill out the form to download this free worksheet

Both you and your partner should answer each dimension separately, but be willing to share once complete. It’s important you’re open and honest when sharing and willing to understand the other’s perception. This is a basis for determining what you may desire to work on and improve.

Closeness and connection don’t just happen. Flourishing requires time, attention, and nourishment.

Improving your relationship

Though every relationship is different, here are a few ways to improve each dimension. These are just ideas—be sure to tailor them to your unique situation.

Spiritual

• Join a Bible study together and commit to weekly attendance.
• Keep a prayer list and pray together each night.
• Commit to daily praying over each other during your individual prayer time.

Emotional

• Make your bedroom a “phone-free zone” and spend 30 minutes before bed talking instead of scrolling.
• Spend the first 15 min home together on the couch discussing and processing your day together. Use this time to communicate not just facts but your feelings about your day.
• Read a book together and discuss your thoughts after each section.

Physical

• Don’t skimp the small things! Like a hug every morning and night, holding your partner’s hand, opening their door, and soft kisses on the cheek.
• Cuddle: when watching movies, when reading, before bed, anytime you can.
• Physical intimacy is far more than just sex- talk with your partner about what physical intimacy means to you. Make sure you listen to their feelings and thoughts too!

Recreational

• Create an “adventure list” and tick one fun thing off a month.
• Join a gym or sports club together.
• Have regular date nights without children.
• Have a monthly game night (after kids are in bed if you have them).
• Check out a date in a box subscriptions.

Intellectual

• Ask questions and seek your partner’s opinion about current events, books, hot topics, and everything in between. You might be surprised what you learn.
• Take an online class together.
• Read together.

Social

• Set up date nights with close friends, couples from church, or your neighbors. Try to schedule one group date a month.
• Get out of the house! Make a true effort to leave the house together every single weekend.

Friendship

• Listen. Truly listen when your partner speaks and validate their thoughts and feelings.
• Be their biggest advocate. Friends care about what their friends do, what they’re feeling, what their dreams are, etc. Make sure your partner knows you’re their best friend and biggest advocate.
• Talk to them. Your best friend is usually the person you want to share news with first. Is that person your partner?

Have you set a goal for your relationship growth this year?

Still need help with that?

Be sure to check out our last blog post about setting goals here for information on setting goals you can actually achieve. You can also purchase our goal setting workbook on our shop.

Over the coming months, we’ll talk about ways to create intentional goals for improvement this year, so be sure to stop by again to see part 3 and 4.

Ready to take it one step further?

Make an appointment with a counselor to talk about what you can do to make 2021 your best year yet. It is our mission to provide you with a safe space and the tools to enrich and better your life and relationships. Feel free to contact us for more information or to make an appointment.